over 1 year ago - - Direct link
Greetings Commanders!

I hope everyone has continued to be blissfully unaware of the silent watchers who audit our every movement from just outside our field of view. It's always so awkward when someone spots them and they have to be written out of the timeline. Anywho, another week has flown by like a pigeon who left the gas on, so that means it's time to go over this week's news!

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PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES OUTLINE MANIFESTOS - 17 July 3309
Whilst worlds continue to turn vibrant shades of fiery orange, thanks to our new insectoid interior designers, the bigwigs of the Federation took part in yet another debate to spout the usual political nonsense that promises lots of things that will inevitably be categorised as "Not what the public really wants right now" despite the trending hashtags of #ThePublicReallyDoesWantThisNow. Each of the political candidates was given time free from their opponents voices to share their plans should they be elected. Jerome Archer promised to get rid of that pesky issue know as freedom, Felicia Winters promised to eat the rich and Zachary Rackham pointed at his own face and said "Give me some attention I am secretly so alone". The election itself has been pushed back towards the end of 3309, what with all the dead people making vote counting a bit problematic. Who will be victorious in the end? Only time will tell but we can rest assured that whichever candidate is selected they probably aren't going to make things any better.


AZIMUTH RELEASES NEW AX WEAPON - 20 July 3309
Despite having lost out in the 'Notice me senpai' competition with Aegis previously, Azimuth "Celebrate villainous cape swishing Fridays' biotech was successful in their attempts to persuade independent pilots to throw them a lush party. This shindig was a great opportunity for the only technology company to have a "It's been X days since we ruined the universe" calendar, and as a result several proposals were discussed and things are looking pretty good for the company going forward. As a reward the new Overcharged Gimballed AX Multi-Cannon with Auto Loader is available at all rescue megaships, as well as Azimuth Biotech’s core markets.


THE HUNT FOR THE DEDICANT - 20 July 3309
Previously on "Cultists do the darndest things, the Dedicant megaship was set to transport a bunch of True Chapter Far God Cultists to Alliance space, only to go suddenly go missing. Now it seems that traces of a distress call have been discovered in he LP 714-58 system. It looks like an encryption error has broken the call into several fragments, making it hard to piece it all together and hopefully find out what's going on. As this is all like finding a needle in the extreme vast open reaches of maddening space, the Federation Intelligence group is asking for help from pilots to locate and follow the breadcrumb trail.


That's it for this week, we'll be taking a short break for the GalNet roundup for totally legit reasons and not because the author has naffed on holiday for a little bit. TTFN and remember, pretend they aren't there...





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