[2019] A story about vigilance against our common sinister foe

Talking about Elves, of course. They may not be 'real' but their agents are. How many of you picked the game up on the HumbleStore? Like Steam it uses a set of Tags with a few displayed by priority and the rest hidden. Things like Co-op, FPS, sci-fi, destructible environment, procedural generation. You know, important and accurate tags about the game, assigned by the store based on a description from the developer submitting it.

But something was wrong. For the longest time, the first tag on the Deep Rock Galactic store in defiance of all things Karl, was 'Elves'. f*cking ELVES. Clearly, someone at the HumbleStore was one of their agents. I wrote them, pointing out that this was both inaccurate to the game and A f*ckING INSULT TO OUR PEOPLE. They wrote back, claiming it wasnt them, it was their "algorithm" which to me sounds like elvish. They wouldnt remove the tag, they wouldnt even add Dwarves as a tag, so i went digging as dwarves are want to do.

I checked every single game in the "Games like this" section of the page, none of them had the Elf tag taint. I looked up games that not only had elves but FEATURED elves. THEY DIDNT HAVE THE ELVES TAG EITHER. This was the only game on their store that had it! This was manually done with the foulest of intentions. I wrote back with this evidence; i showed them dozens of games on their store that a Dwarves tag could fit, so that they might correct their terrible mistake and act of blatant elf mongering sabotage, but still they would not fix it.

Eventually I had to bring the matter and evidence to the GSG CEO Soren and he wrote them in a maybe slightly more tactful manner, but also with the authority of being the games CEO. With that, the abominable tag was finally banished, and Deep Rock Galactics store page was exorcised of the evil that had befallen it, but still an elf surely lurks in those offices, probably hiding behind a file cabinet. I almost smile when I try to imagine some poor sap seeing the Elves tag on that store page and buying the game, only to be greeted by the Driller and all 9 of his chins.

As a reminder, it would be great if you could add the custom tag "Dwarves" to the Deep Rock Galactic steam store page!