[2020] We're losers, you're welcome.

Listen, we didn't carry you to the lighthouse, we pushed you there. We lifted you there. We must have played hundreds of matches and won maybe 10, but never had more than 2 wins on our card. We went 0 and 5, showing you the best walls to turn into a mission impossible parody with your hard light. We delivered special ammo to you like a grubhub for Revoker bullets.

As the reset comes to us like fresh laundry, removing the stain of our failure and wiping away the 250 trials tokens in our inventory, the folks in my clan of perpetual trials losers wanted to say, you're welcome. We hope you will enjoy relentlessly murdering us with those new weapons next week. We won't be having anyone carrying us. We'll be using weapons that aren't meta. We'll be easy pickings. And we'll keep trying anyway. We'll keep making that first match easy.

And for that, you're welcome.