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Well hello fellow corporeal beings, who aren't at all cosmic nightmares outside human comprehension trying to pass themselves off as normal people. It's been a few weeks but we're back with more existential dread to stuff your face holes with!
[ATTACH type="full" alt="GNRU29092023.png"]368707[/ATTACH]
WALLGLASS LINKS RACKHAM TO ‘CALICO ZACK’ - 18 September 3309
Shock! Gasp! Surprise! Evidence has come to light that Zachary 'Look at me I am clearly corrupt' Rackham was in fact the dread pirate with the terrible name 'Calico Zack'! This evidence was provided in the form of communications with a now mysteriously missing, in utterly non-suspicious circumstances, pirate Angelo Defries, who had learned of Rackham's true identify and threatened to go public. Bryanna Blanco of the Federal Times was overly smug with the revelation, being that it vindicated what everyone knew for ages. Rackham's followers have claimed this is all fake news and planted evidence, no doubt a dark sinister conspiracy from the other Federal candidates or that bloke down the coffee shop with a haircut they don't like. Things are looking pretty bleak for Rackham, so his catch phrase of 'Just like me' now better reflects the state of the galaxy.
RACKHAM WITHDRAWS FROM PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION - 22 September 3309
Rackham has officially withdrawn from the Federal Presidential race, claiming the accusations and blatant evidence that he was a pirate lord was distracting from the elections. He refutes any actual wrongdoing but when your running mate legs it and your stock prices start to plummet as people distance themselves from you then it is not a great look. On the plus side it's nice to see in the future that scandals and criminal activity actually can have repercussions. What a lovely fantasy.
AEGIS RESOLVES TO FREE ABDUCTEES FROM TITANS - 25 September 3309
Aegis has come up with a unique, safe and effective way of recovering abducted citizens from Thargoid Titans. Missiles. Yes, the plan of action is to launch modified mining missiles at the Thargoid Titans to scoop up the escape pods and bring them safety. It's an ingenious solution, right up there with my suggestion of removing out of date wallpaper by burning the office down. Of course these missiles are designed to help gather ore and minerals, not screaming NPCs trapped in an alien Hell hole, so Aegis will be looking at what solutions could be available for effective modification.
THARGOID WAR UPDATE: SEPTEMBER 3309 - 27 September 3309
Seo Jin-ae has taken on an important task in the Thargoid war, with a clear audition to take over Patrick Stewarts role as Professor X. Using her psychic connection to the Thargoid hive she has determined that they are keeping abducted humans alive as a major part of their invasion plans. This overly elaborate method of Tarot reading and the evidence gathered with the upgraded Xeno scanners has given Aegis all the push they need to galvanise rescue resources to get the people back. There's no telling what state the rescued people will be in, seeing as they have been stuck in an alien environment for quite some time, but that sounds like a future Aegis problem. In slightly better news it seems the Thargoids are having a hard time growing their war effort, with many more systems being taken back from their control.
DELIVER RESOURCES FOR EXTRACTION MISSILE MANUFACTURE - 28 September 3309
In an effort to speed up the mass production of missiles that extract people rather than separate them into detached limbs, Aegis has put out the call for pilots to help deliver the necessary materials. They have asked for shipments of CMM composites, neofabric insulation and osmium, to be delivered to Springer Gateway in the Senlu system. Princess Aisling Duvall made an impassioned speech that basically boiled down to "Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make". Which is nice. Shows she really cares.
That's it for this week. As we enter the spooky season please be sure to keep all of your screaming to a sensible volume so as not to alert anyone to what you really are deep inside.
[ATTACH type="full" alt="GNRU29092023.png"]368707[/ATTACH]
WALLGLASS LINKS RACKHAM TO ‘CALICO ZACK’ - 18 September 3309
Shock! Gasp! Surprise! Evidence has come to light that Zachary 'Look at me I am clearly corrupt' Rackham was in fact the dread pirate with the terrible name 'Calico Zack'! This evidence was provided in the form of communications with a now mysteriously missing, in utterly non-suspicious circumstances, pirate Angelo Defries, who had learned of Rackham's true identify and threatened to go public. Bryanna Blanco of the Federal Times was overly smug with the revelation, being that it vindicated what everyone knew for ages. Rackham's followers have claimed this is all fake news and planted evidence, no doubt a dark sinister conspiracy from the other Federal candidates or that bloke down the coffee shop with a haircut they don't like. Things are looking pretty bleak for Rackham, so his catch phrase of 'Just like me' now better reflects the state of the galaxy.
RACKHAM WITHDRAWS FROM PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION - 22 September 3309
Rackham has officially withdrawn from the Federal Presidential race, claiming the accusations and blatant evidence that he was a pirate lord was distracting from the elections. He refutes any actual wrongdoing but when your running mate legs it and your stock prices start to plummet as people distance themselves from you then it is not a great look. On the plus side it's nice to see in the future that scandals and criminal activity actually can have repercussions. What a lovely fantasy.
AEGIS RESOLVES TO FREE ABDUCTEES FROM TITANS - 25 September 3309
Aegis has come up with a unique, safe and effective way of recovering abducted citizens from Thargoid Titans. Missiles. Yes, the plan of action is to launch modified mining missiles at the Thargoid Titans to scoop up the escape pods and bring them safety. It's an ingenious solution, right up there with my suggestion of removing out of date wallpaper by burning the office down. Of course these missiles are designed to help gather ore and minerals, not screaming NPCs trapped in an alien Hell hole, so Aegis will be looking at what solutions could be available for effective modification.
THARGOID WAR UPDATE: SEPTEMBER 3309 - 27 September 3309
Seo Jin-ae has taken on an important task in the Thargoid war, with a clear audition to take over Patrick Stewarts role as Professor X. Using her psychic connection to the Thargoid hive she has determined that they are keeping abducted humans alive as a major part of their invasion plans. This overly elaborate method of Tarot reading and the evidence gathered with the upgraded Xeno scanners has given Aegis all the push they need to galvanise rescue resources to get the people back. There's no telling what state the rescued people will be in, seeing as they have been stuck in an alien environment for quite some time, but that sounds like a future Aegis problem. In slightly better news it seems the Thargoids are having a hard time growing their war effort, with many more systems being taken back from their control.
DELIVER RESOURCES FOR EXTRACTION MISSILE MANUFACTURE - 28 September 3309
In an effort to speed up the mass production of missiles that extract people rather than separate them into detached limbs, Aegis has put out the call for pilots to help deliver the necessary materials. They have asked for shipments of CMM composites, neofabric insulation and osmium, to be delivered to Springer Gateway in the Senlu system. Princess Aisling Duvall made an impassioned speech that basically boiled down to "Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make". Which is nice. Shows she really cares.
That's it for this week. As we enter the spooky season please be sure to keep all of your screaming to a sensible volume so as not to alert anyone to what you really are deep inside.