about 1 year ago - - Direct link
Greetings lines of code programmed into believing you are flesh!

Another period of recorded time has passed signifying that entropy continues and our slow glide into oblivion is inevitable. That means it's time for another round up!

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TITAN SURVIVORS KEPT IN QUARANTINE - 23 October 3309
After a hefty collective effort from Pilots across the galaxy, a bunch of very unlucky people have been extracted from their budget pod person apartments and brought back into the loving embrace of humanity, a species well known for its acts of altruism and not at all a heavy focus on personal gain. Each Involuntary Thargoid Holiday Maker has undergone some rigorous tests to ensure they are healthy, safe and haven't turned into giant insect people that can eat your face. Currently the survivors are being kept under careful observation in quarantine because this all feels a little too easy and everyone has watched far too many horror movies at this point.


MYSTERIOUS PHENOMENON TRIGGERS VIOLENT ATTACKS - 26 October 3309
Speaking of horror...A strange signal was intercepted by a fleet undergoing the 'Grey Swan' military exercise and shortly afterwards they began to ignore all comms. Initial speculation that this was some kind of emo music that had persuaded the soldiers that "It's not just a phase dad" were quickly dashed when they found out they were suffering from violent mania. So obviously it was more likely country and western. The signal has made the fleet a dangerous threat to nearby civilians and even presenters of the Frameshift Live news program found themselves going off the rails. Probably nothing to worry about...


ELIMINATE THREAT OF GREY SWAN FLEET - 27 October 3309
"We tried nothing and it didn't work". Having spent precisely one day to try and help those affected by the deadly signal, Shamash Future's security team have decided that only brutally murdering everyone is the only way forward. OK, maybe they didn't specify 'brutally' but I'm going to take that as an unspoken rule and go with it anyway. These infected pilots pose a risk to innocent civilians in the system, and considering they are significantly better armed it's probably best to get this over and done with and wipe them all out. No, no. This is a pained grimace on my face, not the gleeful smile of a lunatic with free reign to blow up some ships.


THARGOID WAR UPDATE: OCTOBER 3309 - 30 October 3309
This month's Thargoid war update can be broken up into two points:
Good news: Rescuing captured civilians has gone really well!
Bad news: There are giant spires of death that we don't understand and no doubt threaten all humanity OMGWEAREALLGONNADIE


AEGIS PRIORITISES RESEARCH INTO THARGOID SPIRE SITES - 31 October 3309
Aegis has come to the conclusion that maybe, just maybe, investigating the sudden appearance of gigantic Thargoid structures in the heart of our galaxy might just need looking into. Yes the radpid growth of Barnacle Matrix sites into gigantic spires, that make excellent screenshots, has somewhat encouraged Aegis to make them their major focus. What do these structures represent? One scientist suggested they could be the start of a new Thargoid city, or Xenopolis, which is a Disney movie sequel that will never make it off the ground. Whatever they may be it's probably a good idea that we take a closer look.


GREY SWAN FLEET DESTROYED IN SHAMASH - 1 November 3309
Shamash has smashed the slashers. Yes, the fleet of crazed infected pilots have been thoroughly obliterated, making the galaxy free from the obligation of looking after sick people. Now that all the gun happy people have been given a free train ticket to oblivion, investigations have been able to continue on just what went down. Evidence would appear to indicate the signal may have been the same one that caused an outbreak of mayhem aboard the Generation Ship Thetis. Having previously been little more than a ghost story after finding the Thetis' remains, learning that the signal has continued to spread is a chilling discovery that highlights that no where is truly safe.


THARGOID ABDUCTEES RECONNECT WITH SOCIETY - 3 November 3309
Whilst quarantine remains in effect, Aegis will soon start allowing family and friends to start visiting the colonists who had previously been staying at Thargoid Air BnBs. They continue to check for signs of any alien tampering, be it physiological or psychological, but so far everyone seems relatively healthy (As healthy as you can be learning you were glorified lava lamps in an alien's living room). Azimuth Biotech were quick to remain on brand and say that we really shouldn't be treating these survivors like people when their is quality invasive immoral testing we could be doing. They have suggested that their long history of not making a mess of the whole Thargoid situation for a full 5 minutes means they should get the exclusive rights to experiment...I mean help the colonists going forward. If you can't trust the people who always make it worse not to make it worse than who can you trust.


That's it for this week! Join us again in the future if we've avoided a rogue solar flare and the swift end of civilisation.
about 1 year ago - - Direct link
"Rubbernuke, post: 10254296, member: 29407"


Missed the pun "totally Shamashed it"

dissapoint levels maximum


Your sadness nourishes me though
about 1 year ago - - Direct link
Hey folks. As this week currently has only one news story, we'll look to do another longer round up later on.





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