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Hi! A few of you might recognize me as the person who did those little narrative journals of the personal story (which I'm still working on and plan to finish), and there's a lot of voices here so I'm not worried about being recognized, because I'm just one of those little voices. I've taken a break from this site for a while to figure out stuff in my life, and I'm still going to take a break (except to post the rest of my writing when I finish it), but I'm feeling in a pour-your-heart-out mood right now, so I'm going to hop back on for an evening. For better or for worse, this community is part of my home, and I'm going to write a bit on here to internalize my raw and unfiltered thoughts, no matter whether people will read it, or if they'll care, but maybe it'll make someone else smile, or think about something.
I found Guild Wars 2 in 2017, which I was in early high school at the time. I'd been cycling through a bunch of MMO games because none of them were sticking, I had tried all the free to play games I could (because I didn't have money), but it took a while for me to find Guild Wars 2. The structure of the game intrigued me, and the world looked like one I wanted to see more of. I am a storyteller at heart, and it brings me great joy to experience the fantastical worlds other people have created. Now Tyria isn't a particularly groundbreaking or norm-defying world, and it doesn't need to be, but it felt... special, in a way I still can't place. But that special feeling was reflected in the people I met while playing the game. People were kind, supportive, and welcoming, in a way that didn't feel forced, but instead like they were inviting me to enjoy the game as much as they did, and because of them I'm still here, after almost six years.
This community has been a part of my life ever since, however small or large it is. The stories that were told here, no matter the quality, hit me in a way that felt like it was made for me. What I didn't realize is that I was inadvertently allowing these stories to help me sort through my own thoughts. Two summers ago I began a project to retell the Personal Story from my own character's perspective. It took me two years though to realize that this character was me. I started the series right after I graduated high school, framing the story with a sylvari who was discovering the world around him, and learning how to live. I was undergoing a similar journey, figuring out my place in the world around me as I learned how to live. I shared these stories on here because I could, and that little bit of pressure from other people potentially expecting me to post weekly was enough accountability to keep me going.
This didn't last, as life happened and I stopped writing. Burnout struck like a truck, and I no longer felt motivated to create. I tried to force myself to write, which didn't quite work. I still always came back to Guild Wars 2 though, because the stories still meant something to me. As I recently tried to write again, I realized my recent entries were being influenced based on what I was feeling at the time. Then I realized, that's how it's supposed to be.
When you create any character in this game, it opens with a voice line, "this is my story." The original intention I assume was to highlight the branching narratives that the game was going to focus on, which of course we didn't exactly get what was originally intended. But meanings will change over time, and while "this is my story" probably doesn't mean what we want it to, it stillmeans something important. No matter how many options are given to us, no matter how many ways we can change things as a player, any given story is only as powerful as we let it be. A story will only impact us if we take the time to internalize and reflect on what it means to us. And not every story will hit everyone the same way this game's has hit me, and that's okay. This is my story, because I let it mean something to me.
If any of the devs happen to read this, thank you for making a world that means the world to me. And for everyone else, I hope you find the stories that mean something for you. And I hope you let them change you.
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