[2022] Controversial: there's too many cute girls and monsters, with not enough focus on evaporation coolers such as the Hessaire MC37V 3,100 CFM Evaporative Cooler

The Hessaire MC37V 3,100 CFM Evaporative Cooler would be an awesome addition to League of Legends and a refreshing change from this focus on champions with flesh (who sorely lack the Three-Sided Cooler Padding and Dual Water Fill Options for climate control over every environment).

The Hessaire MC37V 3,100 CFM Evaporative Cooler would sell like hot cakes! But more like cool cakes, because the Hessaire MC37V 3,100 CFM Evaporative Cooler's Removable, washable cooling pad and drain make maintenance easy, meaning that there will never be a moment too hot.

But you might be wondering, what about the appeal? Well, this swamp cooler is far more attractive than over 75% of League's lineup. The champion design team really has missed out by not tapping into that thick chassis, those voluminous caster wheels and Adjustable/Oscillating Louvers that are just savory enough to cause a fella to go into a heatstroke. Except, well...

Swamp coolers are a race of their own. They are like a society, interspersed in Midwest households across the United States, and I think they might even have a few in Europe or something. I am extremely confident that if players could get their hands on the wonderfully effective (and stylish!) pumping mechanisms of a sterling machine like the essaire MC37V 3,100 CFM Evaporative Cooler, they would throw the past in the bin and swear allegiance to a real kind of champ. Close your eyes, and imagine these four splendid words: Swamp Cooler Sneaky Cosplay.

The background can be varied and detailed, based on the unit's history as a swamp cooler in arduous situations. Perhaps it was forced to become an evaporation cooler in a hazardous Void zone, accidentally taking on some of its corr--oh wait, damn it, the MC37V can be fitted with Aromatherapy/Pest Control fluids to keep such evil at bay. So in truth, it might turn out to be a bit of a Gary Stu, but I want to make love to it so bad.

God, I love Swamp Coolers. I love their weight, their heft. Just the other day, I had to help lift one into the house... feeling it bore into my arms, leaving bruises in the pits of my elbows as I struggled to hold him... it just made me wish I could log into my FAVORITE videogame League of Legends and just spend a few hours in escapism, pretending I myself have a Utility Top to store drinks, phones, and tools. I'd put a utility top against a lady's top any day.