[2021] Hellllllo Commanders, this is CM Drunken Cerebro here to lay it our straight for you!

Heeeellllooooooo everybody! This is CM_DrunkenCereBRO,

I’ve been chilling out pounding down some of these fine whiteclaw slushies and I am CM LIT right now! Everyone Always ask for "proof" that this is me, so here I am! So I figured what better way to answer some of your burning questions with complete and utter honesty now that I’m on my 2nd whiteclaw slushie and totally LIT! I’ve created this account so no one from Foxnext Scopely will know that it is me answering!! HAHa brilliant I know!

I know here are some burning topics everyone has been asking questions about and I’m happy to give you the dirt on. So let's get toooooooooooooo it!

1. Unity event. OOOOOK So there is a lot here to cover:

   1. Yes we wimped out on calling it pride, hard stop.. Wooooooooo
   2. Yes this is another event we didn’t fully QA(because we don’t have a real QA process)
   3. Yes the compensation was poor, but my job is to communicate these poor decisions, not make the decisions.
   4. Yes we did nerf the drop rate of unity fragments to be a higher percent of 50 shards and almost no 375/1000/2000 drops when we “fixed” our bug.. This was not another bug, this was an actual decision we made.

2. War/Raid bug

   1. Yeah it still exists, see above about lack of quality QA process ok? More comp at some point i’m sure!

3. What is the plan with PvP?

   1. Tournaments! I think? We gotta monetize this new feature somehow since adoption of it is super low.
   2. Look forward to a tournament with core buy ins and random orb fragments as your reward for characters you already have at 7 stars

4. What about the plan for quality of life improvements like less blitzing?

   1. Well….. We kinda hit a roadblock here, we don’t know what else to do! So yeah more blitzing for this year, maybe we’ll change it in Q5 2020

5. Speaking of blitzing. Let us talk about blitz bots!

   1. We can not ban people using them, we’ve run a report and they are all big spenders, so we won’t ban them.. But you should not use them
   2. Speaking of not using them. Which is the best one? Asking for a friend…..

6. WhiteClaw Slushies!!!

   1. Have you tried these yet? They are phenomenal!!!!!!!
   2. No bugs in them yet either

7. New features coming this year?

   1. New raids? Nope just difficulty levels for greek raids
   2. PVP tournaments see above and get ready to whale out!
   3. ISO 8… bonus time for us! We promise it will be well bugged and throw off arena balance completely.
   4. A new QA leadership and program. HaHa just kidding!

That’s all I got time for today, good luck commanders and keep blitzing for the Pride err Unity event!

Your’s in honest, CM_DrunkenCereBRO! Shhhhhhhhhhhh

P.S. Whiteclaw slushies!! Hell yah!

P.P.S. This is a parody attempt and intended for respectful humor only