[2022] Can't Play RL Because Epic Support Can't Help

I want to play Rocket League, but can't. Why? Because I need to update my Epic Account. Problem is I can't do that. What I need to do is update the country in my account as I did in fact move. I can't do that either. Why? Because I can't login into my account. Can't get any support from Epic. Why? Because I can't login into my account because I can't change my country. I have tried every other reasonable method to try and get this resolved, but I can't. The best part is that in about a month the account will get deleted off of Epic. While I'm not 100% positive, I'm pretty sure if I let it delete itself then I probably won't be able to relink my account because it'll throw some error.

So, what I am to do? Can't call Epic. Can't email Epic. Can't get support from Epic. Can't get support from Psyonix because it takes me to Epic support. At this point this is kind of a hail marry because I find myself almost in a soft lock except that I can't just restart from the last checkpoint. I can provide more specifics, but you know privacy and all that stuff. Weird first world problems I suppose.

Edit - If you read the entire thing and can't help. Then I thank you for reading and offer a picture of some cookies.

Cookies!