devtrackers.gg
(Edit: Marked as NSFW for language and a handful of trigger warnings, lol. I know there are kids in this community, and while they're free to read this just like anyone else, I'd like to be considerate with my rambling.)
(Final edit at the bottom.)
Last year, my mom died.
Three months after my mom died, my ex came out as bisexual after 7 years of marriage and left so he could experience men.
A few months after that, I was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder.
Two months after that, I cold-turkey quit the anxiety medication that was given to me, as I'd subtly developed a pill addiction without even realizing. The withdrawal was horrible.
Two days ago, my stepmom died.
I loved her more than my own mother, and I think... I think I've finally lost my mind.
But guess what.
This f*ckin' game, that's what.
A gift straight from the Lord at the hands of the hardworking folks at Psyonix.
This game helped me through my mom's death, my divorce, my mental breakdown, my accidental addiction and very intentional recovery, sobriety, and now it's helping me keep my sh*t together as my world falls apart once again.
(Edit: on that note, sorry for the typo in the title. There will not be a Part II, to this, I promise. XD go easy on me, I don't have many brain cells left.)
People complain about all sorts of stuff with this game, and that's okay - that's what people do.
But I'm not exaggerating when I tell you from the bottom of my heart, this game is one of the few reasons I'm still alive.
Thanks, Psyonix.
Ignore the haters and keep up the good work.
Who'd ever have thought virtual rocket soccer with battle cars would be out here, changin' lives, savin' lives, 'n' sh*t?
Thanks, Rokt Leeg.
Thanks to all you lovely non toxic players for helping me keep smiling over the last year.
To you, the toxic players...
Five bucks says all that "angry" inside of you has very little to do with the game, and everything to do with the weight of the world on your shoulders.
At all costs, find someone, something, or somewhere that helps you carry that weight.
You don't have to stay angry.
It ain't good for your heart.
My stepmom went down without a trace at age 45 from an unexpected, massive heart attack after no prior cardiovascular-related medical history.
She and my dad were at each other's throats for the dumbest sh*t. Happens, after 22 years with a person. That's life for ya.
But watching the whole world get ripped out from under his feet when she died on Wednesday... and for me, losing a mother all over again, after I've barely caught my breath from the first round...
Well, you find out pretty quick, there are a lot of things you can choose to be angry about, but when everything is said and done... it doesn't matter, and most of it was silly anyway.
Go find out what really makes you angry, and address that.
Never know when you, or someone important, might just disappear....
Make the most of the time you have.
Be good to your fellow humans.
It's a cold, cold world out there.
Lotta life happens in this world, and for 5-10 minutes at a time, you can choose to let all that disappear into the silliness of the fact that you're still alive, still breathing, and you're choosing to kick a virtual ball around a virtual field with a virtual goal because it's fun.
Go have fun.
This is Rocket League!
[If you ever want a casual teammate or a 1v1 sparring partner, add me. I'm trash, but I rotate and I'm good on defense. proof lol (RocketLeagueTracker) My tag is in my profile description, I think. Even if you stumble across this post months or years after it's posted, hit me up.]
[ Okay, that's all. Thanks again. ]
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