[2019] From my understading, we should not feel attached to our characters because their progress is not a given that will last forever?

I played for an hour today, just to see what it's about, and I liked that I saw so far. But I am really confused and kinda letdown from the things I read. As far as I understood, official or private servers might get wiped (officials don't do what in general, but it's a possibility). I also saw about people killing you while you sleep and are offline from the game, only to wake up naked and without a single thing on you.

So, my question: Is this game not supposed to be about constant progression? I mean, I know it's all about dying and losing stuff, and I accept this as a game mechanic, but the outside factors with the server wiping, and the exploits make me feel like one day I will log in and find that everything I worked for is stolen or wiped. I don't really like that. I am really lost with the whole server thing, I am not sure which server to pick, and should it be PvP, PvE or PvE-C? Should I go official to feel safer about potential server wipes, or the lack of moderation will result in a character steal?