PLEASE HELP - Quest 3 issues...

hey gang - been playing ED for several years via VR. other than them dropping official support for Odyssey and the craptacular optimization around stations, planets, etc - i've had a pretty great experience. my Rift S still works great for this game, and i use an XBox controller for on-foot with no issues (i otherwise use a HOTAS and VoiceAttack).

got me a Quest 3, BoboVR S3 Pro, Remote Desktop, and upgraded my home network to an ASUS 6e router and a new multi-gig Netgear modem - (primarily) to play ED wirelessly. i'm not having a great time so far.

i can start the game from Oculus (i also have it on Steam but we will get to that) and i can get the Quest Airlink to work for VR, but no matter what i do - the XBox controller will not work together with it -in game-. i can get the XBox controller to work in the menus but as soon as i exit my ship - nothing. rebinding didn't do anything and the controller still works perfect if i use my Rift S instead.

now - i know that there are some VR players still out there and some that are playing on the Quest 3. so - how do you do it? what is the BEST setup in terms of getting that buttery smooth VR experience wirelessly and having everything still work? what i am looking for is some step by step info because sometimes with ED - you gotta launch from this app and then start this other thing and then connect this thing for it all to work. is launching from Oculus / standalone better for lag or would playing via Steam be better in this case?

here's how i normally play my game via the Rift S:

1 - make sure everything is updated and current (NVidia drivers, Oculus software, ED game, computer, VoiceAttack, etc)
2 - launch Oculus Tray Tool (mostly was used for supersampling overrides. don't know if i still need it for Quest 3)
3 - Launch Oculus Software on PC
4 - Launch ED Market Connector
5 - Launch EDHM-UI HUD Editor
6 - Launch VoiceAttack
7 - Launch Elite: Dangerous from inside the Oculus App

i have always launched via the Oculus app as i heard that SteamVR had slightly more latency but i DO HAVE BOTH if ultimately it's better to play ED on the Quest 3 via SteamVR.

so far on the Quest 3 (via Airlink), i can launch the old Oculus Dash and kinda get to the game library that way and launch it via Oculus and the game loads pretty good and i can use my HOTAS but the XBox controller doesn't work.

i tried to launch it from the actual ED.exe launcher but that forces SteamVR to launch and it's still not working. haven't tried Virtual Desktop.

so - VR Commanders, PLEASE HELP get me back in the game with my new VR tech and have everything work. what's the most rock-solid ways you guys are playing ED in VR with the Quest 3 WIRELESSLY?