Sure, sure, but first, let me tell you who I DONT play:
Adela? Hell no, the people who play her are actual human garbage, constantly spamming chess pieces and winning because they're damaging my eardrums with how loud their Q is. Brainless character. Alex? Basically for people just pretending to be neo from the matrix, it's not even slightly close and it's cringe. They think they're 5head geniuses, but all they know how to do is run. Adrianna? Another character that literally just runs all day unless you're adritoma who just kills me for no reason, completely OP character. Don't even get me started on aya, absolute nonsense press Q from across the screen and kill my entire health bar, it's ridiculous, broken character, no skill, no brain. People who play her are absolute scums of the earth. Barbara players aren't even human. I'm glad they added Bernice for people with no limbs to play and get wins, really kind of nimble neuron. Camilo is for 4 year olds whose parent let them play on PC and told them to mash buttons - it works too, my 4 year old son has 8 wins on Camilo. I f**king suck and can't play Cathy. Chiara is a lazy character, press E, press R, literally just win. Where's the fun in that? Chloe is absolutely ridiculous, this character shouldn't even exist in a survival game. 2 characters, gigantic damage, and not to mention her invisibility ultimate on those 2 bodies, INSANE. What the f**k is even a daniel? Eleven is for weirdo lilypichu fans crossing over from league of legends cause they're stuck in bronze, stupid character, brainless, taunt, r, right click. Would never catch me playing that character. Don't get me started on Emma, anyone who plays her is an actual sadist, playing erbs solely to get off on ruining other people's nights, it's disgusting - except lilydango, she's cute, everyone else who plays that demonspawn f**king sucks. Eva is for copium heroes of the storm players begging for their li ming back, the game isn't coming back, it's dogass, so is this character's integrity - bullhonkey damage, should be deleted. How people play fiora is beyond me, all she does is right click you and press W to win- she doesn't even have an ultimate? do you have the creativity of a thumbtack? are you even playing erbs for fun? Hart mains are pathetic, but only because i desperately wish i could play her, but int so hard every time (god hart mains are actual gigachads). If Emma is the 7th level of hell, Hyejin is right there at 6th level - actual degenerate character played by degenerate people - would never catch me playing her. Calling hyunwoo players "players" is a severe overstatement. I can only assume they're munching on glue while their keyboard sticks to them as they run at 900mph right behind sonic the hedgehog, f**k those guys. I don't even have anything note worthy to mention about isol because he's such a forgettable character. Jackie players don't even like to play erbs - how is it fun to press R and right click? It's not. They're not having fun, and they're not letting me have fun. Assholes. Speaking of assholes, Jan players are dickheads, the lot of them, constantly running you down with blue weapon and winning because the character is mash button central, how hes allowed to exist in this state is disgusting. Jenny players are dogshit just like their broken character. Imagine playing a character who is only good for auto attacking twice and dying. wtf is wrong with those people? Lenox is DISGUSTING. The character can be played by a goldfish on motion detection. You don't need to land any of your skills, just swim people down and win. I can't STAND leon's voice acting, he sounds like the surfer fish from spongebob, and it's ridiculous. No I will not play on japanese or korean. What do you take me for a weaboo or a koreaboo? No. Li Dailin is for toxic riven mains who got banned in league years ago. I'm not stooping to that level of moral corruption. Luke players can honestly eat my ass. There's no character that's more deprave than Luke. The character miss everything and run you down and win just by right clicking. Genuinely the most garbage cheap character in the game, no one has fun playing him, they just like pretending they're good at the game because they can miss everything and right click on people. lmao what is even wrong with magnus players, i can't even think of a single reason why anyone would want to play this lame ass character. Nadine players are f**king disgusting, another character with CHEAP right click to win bullhonkey. It's stupid, it's shameful. Why is this even in the game nimble neuron? nerf nadine's existence by deleting her from the game. Nathapon? Why would anyone enjoy playing a character that is a literal fetus with a oneshot camera? Literally just griefers. Nicky? Actual fred flintstone tier cavemen, they're dogshit and all they do is rely on others to hit their parry for them, get good scrub. Rio has bullshit range from across the map and literally just right clicks you to death in shitbow. It's stupid because when i play her i die, why does this dumb, brainless character take so much skill? All she does is right click! Oh no! It's 1 minute into the game! Rozzi is crafting her purple weapon! She couldn't possibly be trying to run me down immediately could she?! of course she is, rozzi players have single digit brain cells and they all do the same thing, actual shit players, disgraceful. Shoichi players honestly need to have someone check in on them everyday, i'm genuinely concerned for them. f**k silvia players, my last ranked game was 2 silvia players 3rd partying my dumbass like actual sharks, they swarmed around on their motorcyles literally just trying to get the last hit, f**king vultures. Sissela is so f**king annoying all she does is press max range Q and kite, she never wants to fight but when you try to run she doesnt let you it's so annoying, honestly sissela pllayers are the worst. Sua is another one of those characters who f**king suck to play against because she can miss literally everything and bonk your HP for half HP cause her passive and she's literally just going to kill you faster than you can kill her because she's so tanky - it's ridiculous. William players are wannabe bootleg tyler1 fanboys, learn to catch axes in league dumbasses. I can't even comprehend why anyone would want to play xiukai. Who derives joy from sitting in a bush crafting for 15 minutes? Seriously, what the f**k. Yuki players are another one of those characters who just f**k me in the ass. Press E press Q press R woohoo free kill. And that's all they do to people in norms farming mastery off noobs thinking they're good players. Woohoo yukibot9000 is on a 5k killlstreak wow!! so good!! f**k yuki players, they're all the same. Zahir players are just like sisella but they're deranged enough to think they can take their character into normals without being taken to anal poundtown by luke players.
All those characters are for degenerates. Oh? What do I play? Well I main the only honest, skill based character in eternal return, Johann.
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