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I am Elf Jesus. This is my story:
I was introduced to league 9 years ago and started playing ranked around season 4. I have been Silver (or lower) for the past 5 years. I played support and jungle, starting with Blitz, moving into the woods with the ultimate clown baby. Some call me "the Silver Shaco." But then the joker got reworked. Jokes on me, I lost my edge.
So I traded my dagger and box for a spear and shield. Cheesing the simple spartan in jungle, I climbed from low silver to high silver and back to low silver. It was purgatory. Some call me "the Silver Spartan." No one could match my 4 am drunken jungle Pantheon raids. I would stumble into lane in my open toed shoes with spear thrusts aimed at the hearts of my enemies. But I could never carry. Though my early game spread terror across the rift, my mid- late game was fickle at best and my hopes, vanquished.
And then it happened. The unthinkable. Resigned to a life of Silver, I dared not dream of the great beyond: Gold. Until one day, riot auto-filled me and my duo partner to bot lane. For no particular reason, I locked in Ashe. He chose vel'koz. Thus, my climb began, the true grind, and my victory at the finish, ensured. We punished the solo q and thrashed lanes. Accusations of smurfing were abundant. They did not know we had broken the Rift. Initially, his support vel'koz carried our lane and often the game. But as the opponents became more skilled, more fearsome, so did my Ashe. After 5 years a Silver, I finally reached Gold 4 in August. My quest was complete. I can move on to the next life fulfilled... or so I thought.
The Quest was not done. As my Ashe improved, I began to play alone. A true solo one trick. I reached Gold 1 a few weeks ago. And then the stars aligned once again. Riot buffed Ashe. Those mad bastards handed me the golden spatula of salvation. The gods saw my struggle on the Fields of Justice and rewarded my diligence. Last Saturday, I activated my rangers focus and reached Plat 4. I stand before you now a humble Silver summoner wrapped in a platinum cloak.
To my silver compatriots, do not fear. For as Riot giveth, so do they taketh away. Upon the changing of the seasons, I shall return to you, my brethren, to begin the climb anew. And with my climb renewed, I shall bring you all with me, those who believe in Elf Jesus.
Unless they nerf Ashe, then I'm f*cked.
https://na.op.gg/summoner/userName=elfjesus
TL;DR I climbed from Silver to Platinum in 6 weeks after spending my entire career in Silver.
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