[2020] A bit of a rant at my personal frustration

I want a shoot at the tournament. Runeterra is the first game where I have gotten such a high ranking, I am diamond btw. I could hit Master if I had more time to grind, but I am a father, and my family demand a lot of my time, which I don't mind. I know I can be highly skilled and I appreciate that players like me have a chance at the tournament by playing the gauntlet, and I really do enjoy the format of three decks pick one ban, way more that the standard rank matches.

I love this game, and I wish I had personal friends that loved it as much as me, but all this is beside the point.

I just tried a shoot at the gauntlet for the prime glory and loss. Not because I got outplayed, but because of my own personal misplayes, and I can acknowledge my mistake and see them almost as soon as I do them. It's this bad habit of tunnel vision and not stopping myself to take my next play into consideration, and I don't know, I just get really frustrated and angry at myself for reapeting the same mistakes over and over. And it's not that I am a sore loser, i don't mind losing a game where I gave it my all, it's just losing because of my own stupid misplayes, I am not angry at anything but myself, and I have suffered this vicious cycle of self directed anger for so long... but I have gotten better at handling it and stopping myself from tilting to hell though.

I've gotten so frustrated and angry to the point of rage and screaming, but it all because of my own personal mistakes. I don't know, I am just reaching out, wondering if anyone else suffers from the same dilema . And would like to share their experiences and feelings here. No judgments. Only respect and love.