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I can only imagine what went through your mind
Imperial pilots we just left behind.
You came to Nadiri, your fleet in good stead
But your fighters are scattered, your capitals dead.
You lost the first joust, and thus you fell back
Girding your loins for a Rebel attack.
But did you face bombers? Well, maybe a few
But mostly you faced the wings of the U.
We pecked at your frigates with turrets from range
Our tactics perhaps seemed at first to be strange.
With half the team doing very little work
We two must have seemed like cowardly jerks!
Yet while at our colleagues you fired your beams
Our turrets blew Frigates into smithereens!
Oh how you pursued us, seeking to slay
Those two cowards who ne'er seemed to enter the fray.
But the Nebulas killed you while we just reloaded
Over and over your actions we goaded.
Till at last to the Star Destroyer came the fight
And it seemed there, perhaps, was the end to your plight.
Your shield generators? We never got close
Your power and targeting? Nothing but ghosts!
Down went your shields, but swiftly restored
Surely when power shifts, victory is yours?
But when back on the offense your pilots all went
Your poor SD's health was at fifteen percent!
Those two blasted U-Wings with turrets on board
And the numerous kills and assists they had scored
Had slowly and quietly knocked weapons out
And sniped the hull plating while darting about.
We did it with turrets, not bombs or with guns
Because we're a pair of Nerf-herder sons!
So I'm sorry if you found our tactics unsporting
With the damage we dealt and the kills we were scoring
It was done as a lark, in pursuit of a quirk
In truth we never thought that it would work!
But if you can take but one thing from this fight
Let it be this: kill those turrets on sight!