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Before I go into these kits, these kits are written in jest and by no means do I hold anything against Capital Games or its affiliates. I want to thank a lot of people who inspired my writing this and even some of the content. Enjoy!
CG_SBCrumb: ??? Side, CG, SWGOH Dev Team, Support
Befuddling Riddle: Deal physical damage to target enemy. Inflict confuse for 3 turns and deal 500% more damage to enemies that are not Sith Empire, Jedi, or Old Republic.
Content Update: Dispel all buffs on all enemies. Inflict every form of debuff on all F2P enemies, which cannot be resisted, evaded, or dispelled, and they lose all protection and take damage equal to 99% of their max health. This ignores protection. Whale allies recover 100% health and protection.
EA Community Manager: Whenever any F2P enemy gains the Character Satisfaction status effect, the cooldown of Content Update is reset and CG_SBCrumb gains 100% turn meter.
While CG_SBCrumb is active, CG allies have +20% health steal.
CG_Carrie: ??? Side, CG, SWGOH Dev Team, Attacker
The Road Ahead: Deal physical damage to enemy and inflict healing immunity and 10 damage over time effects for the rest of the battle. These effects cannot be evaded or resisted.
Rock-Paper-Scissors Meta: Deal physical damage to all enemies and inflict Dissatisfaction on all Enemies for 4 turns, which cannot be resisted.
Dissatisfaction: Whenever any new character ruins the meta, all enemies ask for the refund buff with a 99% chance for those requests to be denied.
Refund buff: immunity to Empty Wallet
Announcements and News: Whenever a new unit is being created, CG_Carrie gains the unique buff Last Minute Announcement until that unit is created. After that unit is created, All enemies are inflicted with the Panic Farm debuff for 9 days. This cannot be evaded or resisted. All F2P enemies are instantly defeated, which cannot be evaded, if they don’t get the new character.
Last Minute Announcement: F2P enemies that damage CG_Carrie are stunned for 4 turns.
While CG_Carrie is active, CG allies have +40% potency
Capital Games: Dark Side, CG, Leader, Support
Forced Cash Drain: Deal special damage to enemy and inflict Empty Wallet for 3 turns. If any new characters have been created, Whale allies lose the 600 stacks of the Credit Card status effect until the end of the new character’s event and Capital Games gains all stacks of Credit Card lost.
Credit Card: 1 dollar per stack
Empty Wallet: This speaks for itself
Dissuade: Deal special damage to all enemies and gain damage immunity for 2 turns. If any enemies inflict Lawsuit on any CG allies while Capital Games has damage immunity, all CG allies dispel all debuffs on themselves and gain tenacity up and damage immunity for the rest of battle.
Just a Few Dollars More: All CG, Whale, Old Republic, Jedi, and Sith Empire allies gain 8k% offense and 5k% potency, and their attacks cannot be evaded or resisted. Whenever a Whale enemy is defeated, Capital Games loses stacks of Credit Card equal to the amount that the Whale just defeated possessed. Zeta: Whenever a F2P enemy is defeated, CG and Whale allies recover 100% health and Protection and gain all forms off buff for the rest of the encounter.
Unparsable Ability Text: If a character is present as an enemy whose name begins with a letter of the alphabet that both has a Mandarin alphabet parallel and corresponds to a prime number and if it is not the second tuesday of a month beginning with the letter T on a leap year divisible by 887, then apply seventeen stacks of the Say What Now buff each of which has lasts for a number of turns equal to the circumference of Arcturus divided by the current date on an Aztec calendar converted into a consolidated binary value divided by the current player's age and subtracted by the value A, S, and ? converted into ASCII conversion decrementing individually per stack. Zeta: If however, unless and except it is not the case that or Ugnaught is not present on the roster of a player who is on your ally list but probably not not on the ally list of your guild leader and also not entirely an ally in the current or immediately preceding battle, then it might be possible that all allies and not allies on your roster gain an immediate potential 88% increase or decrease of either Offense or Defense. Maybe.
Say What Now?: +/-76% offense or 96.754%<56% Potency times the amount of grams of protein in a Kellogg's waffle divided by the amount of money the U.S. owes Japan.
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